By the 90s my Mum’s radical 80’s feminism had evolved into a vague, kindly spiritualism that took in positive thinking mumbo jumbo, alternative medicine, and these weird New Age Music tapes you could only buy from a ramshackle shopping ‘centre’ that smelt of benefit fraud, creeps, and essence of fairy jizz. This music was pretty much the uncoolest thing to ever exist, and the tapes had names like Light on the Path, Healing Bliss, Earthpeace and Virile Clunge Butcher (can you guess which one of those I made up?). It seems that time is a great healer (better than the bearded bloke in the centre was fo’sure) cos now the chiming slightly ethnic-y keyboards, floatation tank soundscapes and shimmering not-really-actually-a-song New Age hallmarks have been sent to me on an EP by an apparently cool new act called Mmoths. Nothing much happens, prettily, over the 6 tracks of Diaries. There are some vocals in the 2^nd and 4^th track that are much the same as the synths on all the others – that is, they sit there looking sleek and nice and don’t make too much of a fuss, like a trophy wife or a gourmet yoghurt from somewhere dead classy. You know, Waitrose or something.

After listening to the EP twice back to back I can’t hum any of it which isn’t a great sign. Maybe I feel slightly chilled out? Is that the purpose of this? I certainly fancy a nice cup of tea, but then I usually do. I really don’t want to slag this off because Jack Colleran who makes the Mmoths stuff is only 19, and I think is making exactly the music he wants to make. It’s just that the music he wants to make sounds like lift music for Pitchfork readers. Not for me. 6/10