Intrusives
These are the thoughts that you shouldn’t act on, that have consequences.
Impulsive
Thoughts that don’t harm anyone and you will do without question.
What happens when intrusives become impulsive?
An explosion of disaster. Or should I saw paint being thrown.
Usually my intrusives are dark humour and jokes that I shouldn’t say because they’re offensive to someone. Then, there’s the worse ones where they want you to do something you shouldn’t. It’s a mixed bag what you’re going to get and it’s highly dependent on mood.
Angry intrusives are the worst of their kind, you kind of lose all logic and anything goes in your brain. You’re trying to fight and say no, no, no, next thing you know, you’ve done something you may regret in time or you’ve told someone all the things you were thinking in your head with no chill. Or both.
I’m my case, I’d never been so angry in a long time. I’m usually angry but that’s when I’m not out and about. A bombshell drops while I’m driving and it completely makes me lose my mind. I honestly couldn’t believe it because it was so illogical to me. I was like, I want to have it out because I’m not gonna sleep, I’m gonna be angry for a whole night.
I have it out and the person is unreasonable. He acts as if he is in charge of something he isn’t and is purposely meddling in a scenario causing a ricochet in a “friendship.” Not only one friendship but two at once.
I say what I think, I say everything on my mind all the bad, all of it, I couldn’t stop it and I don’t regret it.
When you’re on the outside of someone’s little life, you tend to be able to see every thing they don’t want to see. It stares at you in the face while they’re in denial. It comes to the point where, why bother? If you can’t even listen to what your friend sees, why should I stay around? It’s a me or him.
I’m being made to be the villain for putting myself first and gaslighted into thinking I don’t remember what I remember. I remember it clearly.
Intrusive: Throw the model thing off the table. Throw it off the table. Throw it. Throw it.
Me: It’s too far. I can’t reach that.
Intrusive: Throw it. Throw it. You can do it. Go and grab it.
Me: No. I’m not.
Intrusive: The paint. The paint.
Intrusive becomes impulsive: Throw the paint.
*Throws the paint at the door*
Me: says more of what I think.
*walks out covered in gold splatter*
Walking out and putting myself first got me into the mess. I’m always gonna put myself above others when I’ve neglected to do so for years.
“Paint doesn’t come out” actually it does. Here’s some tips for future reference, it will come in handy for every stain you just have to test it:
If it is wet, you get a cloth with washing up liquid and wipe it off.
For dry paint, you’ve got quite a few options to try. Scrape the paint off. If there’s stains left behind depending on material, hand gel.
Hand gel works amazing for helping peel off residue and taking off stains. If the stains are a bit darker, pink stuff or white vinegar.
You’ve also got baking soda and lime, it’s great to use for cleaning.
Non acetone based nail varnish remover.
Rubbing alcohol.
Isopropyl
Never use bleach, like ever! Unless you want to permanently destroy everything. Bleach belongs down the sinks, the toilets and occasionally the bath. I wouldn’t recommend the bath. There’s stuff for that.
I found this discussion about intrusive thoughts becoming impulsive interesting because it explores how difficult unwanted thoughts can feel when they become overwhelming. I appreciate personal writing that openly discusses these experiences and encourages readers to think about them with more understanding.