I finished watching My Mom, Jayne and genuinely it gives you food for thought about the way women are still treated within film, TV and the world. We are more than our bodies, we are humans with feelings, a brain and value. It’s about time to stop and think, try getting to know a person instead of just jumping in with comments about looks or you’ll never know someone’s story and what they actually have to offer the world.

The only things I knew about Jayne when I started watching was that she was Mariska Hargitay’s Mom, she was a Hollywood star, about her death and the time she was in Grainger Market, Newcastle. I didn’t know her story or really who she was besides a face that very much resembles Mariska.

She was an outgoing young woman and courageous, she wanted to show her talent to the world. She played violin beautifully and piano also. She could dance but people only remember her for her body or her death, not who she was. She had 5 beautiful children, she had animals, she was in her words “Mother Goose.” She had impeccable taste in fashion and interior design, she loved symbolism, especially angels. She was a good person who kept herself grounded by doing things for others including visiting war veterans. It’s about time we remember her right and her legacy. She was a talented actress who believed in having dreams and doing anything to achieve them, she was more than an image.

Mariska buried her Mom figuratively and literally. The only things she ever saw, was the images and a fake persona, not the person who was her Mom. She was detached. I think Mariska making this documentary is refreshing and wholesome, it tells an important story that many need to hear. I urge everyone to watch, especially men and young boys.

There’s still a culture of sexualising women’s existence, I’ve experienced it. I can barely remember the times where someone commented about my brain over how I looked in what outfit “you look hot” and it’s sad. It gets me down that people would rather talk to me about how THEY think I look over what I actually do with my life. I’m not my image, I am someone who loves to create, loves to do what I can to help others, geek over the stupidest and cutest things like plushies. I love to design but people never want to know. Even if women are posing in bikinis or lingerie, they are still more than that image!!! Start treating women like people!!! Think about how YOU would like to be spoken about!!!

Women don’t do things for YOU, we do them for ourselves. We don’t post photos for YOU, we post them to make US happy.

Example, the other day I posted a selfie in my new spiced cognac colour wig, I was happy watching the sunset in the middle of nature, there’s nothing more to it:
“Ooohhhhh my so much better than blonde really brings out your attractive facial features so so suits you and gives you a bit fieriness”
Like, okay? I didn’t ask? My caption was “Woohoo.” What part of “woohoo” meant “tell me your opinion of how I look?” It feels disrespectful. I would prefer “glowing” or “have fun” anything else. It’s so backhanded. I don’t care what you think, nor do I want unsolicited opinions on what YOU like. I like what I like, I do what I like, stop trying to morph me into who YOU want. Someone else commented “great colour” like thank you, that’s kind. “You go girl” yess, love that. That is how men can support and compliment women!

As a woman who supports other women, the best thing you can say and I will always say it, I made 2 women’s day “I love your outfit, it’s stunning” or “I love your hair, it’s goals.” It’s meaningful and trust me, you don’t forget at all!

We need change and to break the cycle.