First band on any of the stages are Bristol’s A Tale of Two Cities. Two of them have sleeveless tops, and this makes us decide that all bands today shall be judged by how many members have sleeveless tops. Maybe not judged, but we’ll keep a running score and the winner will receive one billion imaginary pounds.

Sleeveless member count: 2/5

The band are opening the Small Town Records stage. It’s in a foyer and under a set of stairs, but also by a bar. For anyone standing directly in front of the stage, this is their view:

But this is a Rock festival, not the Bolshoi, what’s a big pillar between friends? About 100 people were already at the smallest stage ready to be entertained, so we’ll move on…

Hollywood-esque moments were complimented by crunchier segments, a bit like a Double Decker bar. The band displayed colourfully pungent whiffs of guitar and vocals that could be described as emotive, but you’d be a brave man to call them Emo. Brave, but stupid because they are not Emo. Is anything Emo any more? That’s a discussion for another day.

Midway through the set the bassist spat water (or possibly pure gob) out over the first couple of rows. Nobody jumped up and punched him in the dick, so they were probably enjoying themselves. It was a pretty static crowd, but nobody was really lubricated by this point (behave) so you can’t really hold that against ATOTC.

As the set draws to a close we are wished a “fucking nice day” and the festival has begun!