Giant lips the size of YOUR MOTHER’S sit plump and red in the middle of the stage as a misty video of a wet Kylie projects out to the audience. Feather-clad dancers pose dramatically as the intro tape draws to a heartstopping conclusion. As the lights come up, they reveal Ramsey’s Street’s most famous daughter casually lounging across those lips, seemingly unaware of the tumult erupting throughout Camden’s Roundhouse.
Desperate hands claw at the stage as she strolls past to the robust beat of ‘Wow’. She’s hitting her stride, the audience is in the palm of her hand, the atmosphere is heating up and now… costume change. She’s renowned for them, and if you expect her to spend the whole show in jeans and a t-shirt then you’re a tit. But they really kill the buzz. Her backing crew entertain with flexibility, stripping, and a dance-off between what looked like the world’s campest street cleaners, but it’s a piss-break for plenty. When she comes out after with a 7-foot head-dress it makes sense, but when it’s a simple top and shorts combo then you wonder if it was worth it.
The house-pop ‘On A Night Like This’ was a amplified by an incredible mesh of lasers that nailed the holiday-island club feel. It was a high point, and as Kylie’s hair was dramatically blown by a big fan, the Roundhouse felt like part of Kevin & Perry Go Large in the best way possible (no zit popping or sea pooping). These lasers were used in the intense techy climax of ‘Slow’, which followed immediately afterward. Kylie was gyrated around by an awfully flexible bloke who looked like her own personal playhuman.
A mild gripe that you could have would be the amount of singing she leaves for her backing singers in some choruses. During ‘Spinning Around’ there were only two where she sung a significant amount. We’re all aware that her bum-bum holds a place in the nation’s heart, The Sun even tried to get it heritage listed due to it being “an area of outstanding natural beauty”, but did she really need to be grabbing it instead of singing her career-saving hit? It doesn’t matter, nobody in the building cared. Her pipes were never in doubt, as proven by the giant ovation given to her staggering final note on ‘Your Disco Needs You’. Other than that, our only complaint is that with no Jason Donovan in the vicinity, we can’t see any reason why she didn’t ask us to sing ‘Especially For You’ with her rather than leaving it out of the set. We’d practiced and everything!
Big white exercise balls are rolled on stage for ‘Sexercise’, which are writhed on in an unwholesomely suggestive manner. In fact, if you were a vicar watching it you would probably be sick. Meanwhile, on screen there are lean oil-laden torsos gyrating about and we’re pretty sure rimming was implied at one point. Or perhaps that was our filthy mind miserably failing some sort of Rorschach test? Whatever, the whole spectacle was clearly designed to encourage people to shove body parts into one another. Boosh, no complaints.
We don’t have any pictures of it. We’re not that sort of website (yet.)
The first track to get everyone in the building jumping was ‘Can’t Get You Out Of My Head’ with its hypnotic la la la la-la lalalas and infectious beat, while ‘All The Lovers’ lifted the communal atmosphere through the roof and ‘The Loco-motion’ fittingly ended the set in a venue that was once a railway engine shed. Her encouragement to get people doing the titular dance move to “respect the trains” that once ran through this building was just one example of the disarmingly engaging rapport she’s developed. The night was a solid outing and showed people exactly what to expect ahead of her upcoming arena gigs at The O2. Even the most hardened muso would need to be a staunch bore to not see the appeal, whether it’s their bag or not. It’s fun, dance-able pop and for the most part doesn’t try to be too much else. If that’s something you’re down with then we recommend it.
Photos: iTunes Festival, London 2014