Tallest Man On Earth at Hop Farm 2012

July 1, 2012

The Tallest Man On Earth is actually not the tallest person on the planet. When calling yourself The Tallest Man On Earth you have to be one of two things, exceptionally humble or a cosmic dick. Anything else is just a waste.

Bathed in blue and yellow light, he looks like a wiry Freddie Ljungberg. Singing with a thick Scandanavian twang, you sometimes had to listen closely to hear what exactly was on the mind of the most vertically accomplished being on the globe. This was a bit difficult at times as the weather meant that one billion families had decided to set up their picnics in the tent and natter away. What pricks.

Luckily, down the front each track was greeted warmyly by Goliath’s faithful, who clapped enthusiastically at the beginning of every track.

He closed with King Of Spain, the lights went purple to show that it was special. Suddenly everyone knew the words and it was great.

His brief patter and humble bows between songs lead me to believe that he is actually a very nice man. However, I’m going to pretend that he actually is fantastically deluded, believing himself to be 11 feet tall, a consumer of worlds and the lord of all flesh.

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