Can we normalise men not telling women how to live? By Lola Louise

By MediaMonkey

February 29, 2024

There’s a lot of quizzes going around instagram at the moment, mostly on stories, it’s like a fun way to get to know people. I love doing them. People expect me to join in too. One came along and it was about what you want in your life. I don’t want kids, I never have, the thoughts never crossed my mind, mainly because I’m asexual but yeah, I filled out the quiz. It’s fun, right? It was made into conflict.

Next thing I know, I get a message from a man I barely know harassing me over my decisions, saying “you’ll regret it” him sending photos of babies like “isn’t that cute?” Me: No.

I’m an Auntie to my friends kids, that is absolutely enough for me. I couldn’t tolerate having them full time. This dude would not let up on me. He was basically saying that my only purpose in life should be to have kids, have a family or I’ll end up completely alone. That part was uncalled for though. He took it was too far. After all, what business was it of his to engage in my life? He’s not involved in my life. It was just a random unsolicited message from wherever. I would not have the audacity to tell someone what they should do with their life, it is completely up to them. If they’re set on their decisions, leave them alone. If it’s a mistake then it’s a mistake but for me, I’ve known this my whole life.

It didn’t stop him. It really didn’t. I’m like furious. I’m like trying to learn the dude not to say that stuff to women. Imagine if he said that to someone who had many miscarriages or can’t have kids for some reason, they’ve had to give in and say they can’t have them. That would be horrible.

About 20 minutes later, he clicks on. ‘Wait are you queer?” How he didn’t notice is beyond me, it’s not like they’re spelled out in tags or anything haha. He finally accepted that it wasn’t my destiny.

People still tend to shoot their score though. Makes for some entertainment. The best one being, someone declared their love for me via a meme and I sat there for hours like “What am I meant to say to that?” Legit didn’t know him. He was luckily so cool about things which was refreshing. He hoped that I got what I wanted and that I’d be happy because I deserve happiness. Totally sweet. Be more like this.

I take these moments with a pinch of salt because they’re always educational for someone. Life’s about learning. Let people be happy and live how they want to.

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