Okay, we’ve been holding back on you. Remember how Ren scored highly in our end of year chart? Well shortly before Christmas he released a song that was every bit as good, perhaps better.
However, as it’s a song about fighting the demons in your head, about overcoming psychiatric and physical problems, we have kept it until the start of the New Year to say: it’s tough, we know it is, but here’s something to help.
It’s called Hi Ren, and he literally has an argument with himself.
Hi there Ren
It’s been a little while,
Did you miss me?
You thought you’d buried me, didn’t you? Risky…
Because I always come back
Deep down you know that…
Deep down you know I’m always in periphery
Ren aren’t you pleased to see me? it’s been weeks since we spoke bro, you know you need me
You’re the sheep, I’m the shepherd
Not your place to lead me
Not your place to be biting off the hand that feeds me
I’ve been taking some time to be distant
I’ve been taking some time to be still
I’ve been taking some time to be by myself since my therapist told me I’m ill
I’ve been making some progress lately, and I’ve learnt some new coping skills
So I haven’t really needed you much man
I think we need to just step back and chill
Ren, you sound more insane than I do
You think that those doctors are really there to guide you?
Been through this a million times
Your civilian mind is so perfect at always being lied to
Okay, take another pill boy
Drown yourself in the sound of white noise
Follow this 10 step program, rejoice!
All your problems will be gone! Fucking dumb boy
Nah mate, this time it’s different man trust me
I feel like things might be falling in place
And my music’s been kinda doing bits too
Like I actually might do something great
And when I’m gone maybe I’ll be remembered
For doing something special with myself
That’s why I don’t think that we should talk man
Cause when your with me it never seems to help
You think that you can amputate me?
I am you, you are me, you are I, I am we
We are one, split in two that makes one so you see
You got to kill you if you wanna kill me.
I’m not left over dinner, I’m not scraps on the side, oh your music is thriving?
Delusional guy! Where’s your top ten hit? Where’s your interview with Oprah?
Where are your grammes Ren?
Yeah but, my music’s not commercial like that
I never chased numbers, statistics or stats
I Never write hooks for the radio, they never even play me so why would Iconcernn myself with that?
But my music is really connecting,
And the people who find it respect it ,
And for me that’s enough ‘cause this life’s been tough so it gives me a purpose I can rest in
Man you sound so pretentious !
Ren your music is so self centred,
No one wants to hear another song about how much you hate yourself… trust me
You should be so lucky having me inside you to guide you, remind you to manage expectations,
provide you perspective, that thing you neglected, I get it
You wana be a big deal… Next jimi hendrix? forget it
Man it’s not like that
Man it’s just like that I’m inside you you twat
Nah it’s not man your wrong, when I write I belong
Let me break the fourth wall by acknowledging this song
Ren sits down,
Has a stroke of genius,
He wants to write a song that was not done previous
A battle with his subconscious…
Eminem did it
Played on guitar
Plan B did it
Man your not original you criminal, rip off artist, the pinnacle of your success is stealing other people’s material
Ren mate we’ve heard it all before
Ohh “she sell sea shells on the sea shore”
Fuck you I don’t need you, I don’t need to hear this,
cause I’m fine by myself, I’m a genius!
and I will be great, and I will make waves, and ill shake up the whole world beneath us
That’s right speak your truth, your fucking god complex leaks out of you
It’s refreshing to actually hear you say it!
In stead of down play it…
“Oh the music Is all about the creative process and if people can find something to relate to within that the that’s just a bonus”
Fuck you ima fucking kill you Ren
Well fucking kill me then
let’s fucking have you Ren
I’m a do it, watch me prove it, who are you to doubt my music?
‘Cause I call the shots I choose if you die
Yeah I call the shots and so i who choose who survives
I’ll tie you up in knots then I’ll lock you inside
I was created at the dawn of creation,
I am temptation
I am the snake in Eden,
I am the reason for treason
Beheading all Kings,
I am sin with no rhyme or reason,
Sun of the morning, Lucifer,
Antichrist, father of lies,
Truth in a blender,
The Banished avenger,
The righteous surrender
When standing in-front of my solar eclipse,
My name it is stitched to your lips so see
I won’t bow to the will of a mortal, feeble and normal
You wana kill me? I’m enteral, immortal
I live in every decision that catalysed chaos
That causes division
I live inside death, the beginning of ends
I am you, you are me, I am you Ren
Hi Ren… I’ve been taking some time to be distant,
I’ve been taking some time to be still
I’ve been taking some time to be by myself and I’ve spent half my life ill
But just as sure as the tide start turning
Just as sure as the night has dawn
Just as sure as rain fall soon runs dry when you stand in the eye of the storm
I was made to be tested and twisted
I was made to be broken and beat
I was made by his hand, it’s all part of the plan that I stand on my own two feet
And you know me my will is eternal
And you know me you’ve met Me before
Face to with a beast I will rise from the east and I’ll settle on the ocean floor
And I go by many names also
Some people know me as hope
Some people know me as the voice that you hear when u loosen the noose on the rope
And you know how I know how I know that I’ll prosper?
Because I stand here beside you today
I have stood in the flames that cremated my brain
And I didn’t once flinch or shake
So cower at the man I’ve become
When I sing from the top of my lungs
That I won’t retire I’ll stand in your fire inspire the meek to be strong
And when I am gone I will rise
In the music that I left behind
Ferocious persistent, immortal like you
we’re a coin with two different sides
When I was 17 years old I shouted out into an empty room, into a blank canvas, that I would defeat the forces of evil,
and for the next 10 years of my life I suffered the consequences…
With Illness, autoimmunity and psychosis
As I got older I realised that there were no real winners or no real losers in physiological warfare
But there were victims and there were students
It wasn’t David verses Goliath, it’s was a pendulum eternally swaying between the dark and the light,
and the brighter the light shone, the darker the shadow it cast
It was never a battle for me to win, it was an eternal dance,
and like a dance, the more rigid I became the harder it got
The more I cursed my clumsy footsteps the more i suffered
And so I got older and I learned to relax, and I learned to soften, and that dance got easier
It is this eternal waltz that separates human beings from angels, from demons, from gods
And I must not forget, we must not forget, that we are human beings.